ONE COUNTRY LEFT! We leave bright and early tomorrow morning, starting with two train rides to the airport.
Last night was such a bittersweet time. It was our last youth night with all of our friends we have created relationships with. During these two months it was hard for me to see the fruit coming from the time I spent with the youth. I wouldn’t say I made a lot of relationships, and the ones I did make weren’t super deep. It became a game of comparison in my mind watching some squadmates have so many one on ones during the week and becoming great friends with the romanians. It was hard for me to ever get one on ones to work, whether our schedules didn’t align, they wouldn’t respond, or there was just no interest. Was I not trying enough? Was I the problem? What was I doing wrong? It wasn’t until the goodbyes that I could see the fruit coming from the relationships I had made. I only had a singular one one one with this girl. I texted her every now and then, and I never really talked about Jesus or her faith, which led me to believe that I hadn’t made any sort of impact in her life. When I heard her say “I am really going to miss you. Do you think you will come back?” was when I realized that I actually had created a relationship that meant something. This girl is someone I always looked forward to seeing, and one that gave me so much joy. Just because I only had one, one on one, and really only created a relationship with a singular person doesn’t mean I didn’t make an impact. The one matters just as much as the many.
While I am already being very real I might as well share some more challenging but sweet moments regarding the youth. I got placed on the youth team here, which is something I longed for, just because of my past serving at my church’s youth. The age of people attending youth is one of my favorites, because of how deep you can go with them. I looked forward getting to plan, lead games, and just be a leader in a spot that I use to thrive in. Not going to lie, I found it a lot harder than I had expected. Most saturday nights I ended up feeling overwhelmed and drained. Leading the games and hanging out with the youth was so fun, it was just a lot. Like I talked about joy in my last blog these were a lot of the moments I had to intentionally choose joy. It was very challenging when all I wanted to do was cry and draw away. Youth age kids will always have a place in my heart, even though they take a lot of out me haha. I thoroughly enjoyed leading in this way. It allowed me to learn what I like, what I was not so good at, and how I could lead better. As I transitioned out of this role, I now get to take the things I learned and apply them to my next ministry and future leadership roles.
Sooo today has been spent packing, cleaning, and writing this! This will be our last night in the mission house as we leave tomorrow at 3am. By the 8th we will officially be in our last country of the race. I am so thankful for my time in this country. I am thankful for the hard moments, the sweet moments, the moments with tears and with laughter, and the moments that will never be forgotten. I am thankful for how the lord used me in this time and all that he has taught me. Though I am so ready for africa leaving this place is still bittersweet.
You will hear from me next when I am in Eswatini:)))
