Jesus, I pray that my readers feel your love and presence.

I pray they are encouraged by what you’re doing in my life to where they cant help but praise you and allow you to wreck their life. 

You are so holy and just, you are lord over my life. 

Thank you

-Your Child

It is day seven of living in Georgia. This first week has been filled with morning devotions, worship, multiple sessions a day, squad time, and playing lots of games. I have been filled with many emotions this past week, I don't have the words to even describe it. I was sitting on the dining deck staring at my computer screen and a friend came and sat next to me and he literally said just to write what I have experienced this week or what stuck out. So here we go! 

Wednesday morning I got up like normal, sweaty and all. Fast forward through breakfast and worship, right to our morning session. Bill, one of the squad leaders was teaching on identity. This topic is hard because I've always felt pretty confident in my identity, but I think everyone deep down has some sort of insecurity or doubt about who and whose they are. 

Identity:            

1. What you believe about God

2. What you believe about yourself

Bill shared that throughout seasons of his life he would hide behind the veil of portraying himself as someone he wasn't, yet wanted to be. Whether that was in a church, job, or with friends. He didn't feel he was enough just as he was. Bill thought he had to change himself to be liked and to fit in.

What kind of world is this that gives us the reality of being someone so far away from who we were created to be?

I was sitting in the black wobbly chair following every move Bill made, with tears running down my face, completely agreeing with it all. Realizing that I have hidden the real me behind someone I thought everyone would approve of. In sports, school, church, and even relationships with friends. I have even found myself starting to try and fit in here by masking who I really am. But wait, I thought I was confident in who I was, in who God created me to be? What happened to that? 

After the session we split off into our teams. I tried to wipe away any evidence that I was crying. Jackie my team leader asked, "so, how is everyone?" and I just couldn't hold it together. "Brooke do you want to share?" So I explained what I was feeling and we then went around the circle sharing some of the lies we believe about ourself. It was absolutely heartbreaking. 

1. They are faking their love/likeness of me

2. I don't fit their standards

3. I seriously am not enough 

4. I am unworthy of love

Next, we went around and spoke truth over everyone, which was so easy. Though it was very hard for me to accept what they were speaking over me. Like why? Why can't I let myself believe the good about who I am? The worst part of it all, was we then went around and spoke and "I am" over ourself. I was the last one to go and the words struggled to come out. Even though they came, I still struggle to believe them. 

We are created to be loved. If we believe we are unworthy of love we will never receive it. Satan is going to do everything he can to keep us from believing that truth.

Am I going to let him win this game? 

We have all fallen short. But God has given us the opportunity to be loved beyond our understanding. Will you accept it?Join me in the process of being fully confident in who you are but more importantly whose you are. 

I love you guys :))